From the Marathon to the 5k, races are becoming more trendy on weekends than Miley Cyrus on Twitter. Whether you’re twerking running to set a PR or because you think the race swag is cool, there is something, somewhere out there for you. Color, costume, beer (um, yes please), mud and obstacle runs unite! Let’s take a moment to throw out some major kudos to the minds behind these creative themes that have coaxed potatoes off of their sofas and money out of their pockets.
When all of these out of the ordinary runs started springing up, my first thought was puh-lea-ze. Paint bombs? Barbed wire? Donuts? Costumes? Give me a break. I steered clear of anything that touted food or chemicals as part of the actual race and went about my merry way in plain jane running shoes and the standard lime green running shorts.
But, as fate would have it, years ago a friend whose partner dropped out of the race, called and asked if I wanted a spot in the Warrior Dash. It was free, there was beer after, and a group of our girlfriends were running as well so I figured why not? We had a fun 3 miles, but honestly the best part of the day was the beer chugging, hanging with my girlfriends and sifting through the pictures of the event. I tasted and saw and was set. That was until Living Social threw a local mud run into my Gmail a couple of months ago. Just over $30 for an obstacle mud run. 3 miles, 24 obstacles, beer, cool shirt – and it was walking distance from my parents’ house (think free babysitting). My husband and I signed up and thought, “What the hell? It’s about time for a date night anyway.”
So instead of getting fancied up and dining downtown for our 10 year anniversary, we threw on old shoes and headed out on a cold, rainy morning for a local mudfest. While walking the 3 or so miles back to my parents’ house after the race, I had plenty of time to mull over what went down. Thus I present to you:
10 Things I Hate About You Mud Runs:
I hate the slippery mud everywhere,
and the way it makes me fall.
I hate the obstacles that sneak up on me,
and force my run into a crawl.
I hate the slides and barbed wire
and navigating tunnels underground.
I hate the fact that as much time as I spend running
I spend more time falling down.
I hate the the smoke that burns my eyes
and stops me in my shoes
I hate the photographers that get a kick
out of making me look like a total douche.
I hate pushing through people with costumes
Just to gain a little edge
I hate throwing myself over the climbing wall
while tearing the skin off of my legs.
I hate watching my husband kick my butt
As I’m looking for ways to stall,
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate mud runs,
not even close…
not even a little bit…
not even at all.
Rugged Maniac Atlanta 2013
So much fun, you’ll hate it.
